


why would you ever kiss me? im not even half as pretty

by caseysnovak (grant)



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, F/F, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:21:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26780569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grant/pseuds/caseysnovak
Summary: She hates it so much, but she wishes she was Olivia.[ based in conan grey's heather ] [ set around s13 ]
Relationships: Alexandra Cabot/Casey Novak
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	why would you ever kiss me? im not even half as pretty

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this kind surface into my head when I was listening to Heather by Conan Grey. Is just a short and sad fic, I just wanted to share because I can't suffer alone.

Casey's steps were too fast for the porcelain floor. She know she'd fall on the floor soon, but she didn't stop. That cause was corrupting her mental health that wasn't the best. 

So when she bumped against someone, she exclaimed out loud. But when she looked for the piercing blue eyes, she almost swore herself. 

She just bumped into Alexandra Cabot. The best ADA of all the time. Her superior. The woman she was secretly in love. 

“Damn, I'm sorry, Alex!” Casey immediately said, trying to see if she dropped something off the other woman. She'd blame herself forever if she ruins anything to Alex. 

“It's alright, Case. Where are you going?” The blonde asked and Casey smiled for a second, looking completely silly in front of the most powerful woman of the Court. 

“I was… um… I was coming back to my office.” Casey replied finally and Alex was still smiling at her like she thought Casey was cute. 

“Can I go with you?" Alex asked and Casey took a deep breath before nodding. Something should be wrong with what she was doing. 

Maybe she was going to be scolded again. Maybe… 

It didn't matter, after all. When they entered into Casey's office, Alex had an unexpected soft look in her eyes saying that Casey wasn't in problems. 

“Are you alright, Casey?" The older ADA asked and Casey looked confusedly to her, but Alex raised her eyebrows to keep her question in the air. 

“It's everything fine, actually. I sent that couple out of the department and McCoy claimed with me about that but that's the only problem until now.” She answered sincerely. “What about you? It's everything fine?” 

“Yes, I believe,” Alex replied with a smile. But Casey could see that the smile wasn't exactly sincere. She didn't ask though, she wasn't Alex's friend. She was just a coworker. Nothing else. 

“The winter is coming so fast,” Casey said when Alex shivered in front of her. The blonde smiled and nodded, sitting on the couch beside the door. 

“I should go to my office to catch my coat,” Alex told her, her hands around her own body to make herself feel warm. 

“You can take mine.” Casey immediately offered, searching for her coat with her eyes. However, Alex immediately denied it. 

“No, Casey, I'm good. I'll come back to my office soon.” Alex replied, standing from the couch. She looked for her phone that was ringing and Casey didn't know what else to do except staring for Alex. 

Casey was lost in her lips. She didn't want to, but the woman was biting it while she was sending messages to someone. And Casey was only human, the attraction was inevitable. 

Then, someone entered the office and immediately was holding Alex behind. Casey looks away one second later. When Olivia was around, she remembers she's not even half of what the woman was. Not pretty, not intelligent, not important, not made for Alex. 

She hates it so much, but she wishes she was Olivia. But, who could blame her? Alexandra was a force of nature, beautiful and smart, and probably the best person Casey ever knew in her whole life. 

She wanted to be the one who was making Alex smile the way she was doing to Olivia. She wanted to hold her and never let go. She wanted to kiss her. She wanted too many things and none of them as possible. 

“Hey Liv, how are you?” Casey said when she noticed the brunette waiting for her to reply to her compliment. 

“Tired. Today I finished the papers and came here earlier to pick up my beautiful fiancé to meet our foster son.” Olivia replied and Casey took a deep breath to not react. She shouldn't be affected that they're starting a family. 

She always knew Alex had someone else, even when they spent too many nights in each other's home to work together. Olivia always showed up and kissed Alex in front of Casey. And maybe Olivia knew Casey's feelings. But it never matters anyway. They're going to marry in spring and adopt a child. 

“That's great,” Casey told softly, knowing how weak her voice was. She couldn't look to Olivia anymore, so she let her eyes search for Alex's piercing blue eyes and felt the sadness behind them. 

“Let's…” Alex's voice was weak as Casey, but she started her statement again. “Let's let Casey work, baby.” She said, taking Olivia out of Casey's office by the hand. 

But she let one last look behind. 

Casey knew she couldn't do that anymore. She wasn't Olivia and she'd never been. She should just go on with her life. Alex wasn't going to be with her, anyway. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
